Summertime Editing Test for COOL People #4 With ANSWERS!

1. The jacket also features princess seams on the side for a complimenting fit!
Huge mistake. Remember the homonym compliment/complement. The way I tell the two apart is by saying “I compliment you,” which lets me remember which spelling is the one with the “I” in the middle. This spelling should have been the other one, the one with the “e.”
2. The center has it’s own operating suite that has been accredited by the American Association of Amubulatory Heathcare.
Ouch. That’s its, not it’s. Never forget the difference, and always double-check your use.
3. Unfortunately, due to the high volume of messages this seller receives, they are unable to respond to your specific question right now.
Remember: the noun drives the bus. Our noun here is “this seller,” which is singular; plus, a company is an “it.” This sentence should have read “…this seller receives, it is unable….”
4. We provide reasonably-priced, catered meals for parishioners.
Never hyphenate an —ly adverb, even though it sounds right. Good job on the coordinate adjective rule here, though!
5. It’s wonderful to know that we have attributed to your success.
Yikes. How about “contributed” here? I’d attribute my success to your organization; your organization contributed to my success.
6. The Board of Directors is comprised of 19 elected officers and directors and the Chief Executive Officer (CEO), an ex officio member without voting privileges.
No, no, a thousand times no. A large thing is composed of smaller units; smaller units comprise a large thing. Never say “comprised of.”   I think people are using “comprised” because it sounds more important, but here it’s just wrong and sounds idiotic.
7. The staff is committed to providing assistance and support in serving the individual member in their efforts to improve their communication and leadership skills.
Again, we’ve got a noun-pronoun problem. “Individual member” is singular. The staff is [good so far] committed to serving the individual member in his or her efforts… Or, you could say “The staff is committed to serving individual members in their efforts…”

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Here’s that long list of mistake-ridden sentences from the professional marketers and copywriters…What crap!
1. We have a team of trusted and experienced copywriters and bloggers behind us that enables us to do what we do – great inbound marketing.
Here’s the “namely” equals colon rule. Read this over out loud and tell me you can’t hear that colon.
2. He is a passionate hobby chef, BBQ master, and known almost all Simpsons episodes by heart.
Always read over your work or you’ll become known as sloppy.
3. It starts by educate consumers on where food comes from and how locally grown fresh fruit and vegetables can impact your life for the better.
Again, you’ve got to educate yourself about making reading over your work before publishing or you’ll look like a fruit. Plus, I don’t like the “consumers” and “your life” transition; it’s very awkward.
4. We believe by enabling sustainable businesses to market successfully, helping you promote sustainable way of life, wholesome living and healthy eating habits.
Wow, this is awful. I guess the easiest fix is to say “We believe in enabling…”
5. It personal, informative and valuable to your prospects.
It’s very personal to me when a business charges for editing but the writing on its site sucks.
6. Get a free 30 minutes consultation.
Use that coordinate adjective rule! You need a comma between “free” and “30 minute,” but you also need to hyphenate 30 and minute: a free, 30-minute consultation.
7. You know, you need to create outstanding content, attract visitors to your website and convert leads into paying customers.
Now that I read this again, this sentence doesn’t strike me as so offensive as it must have originally. I certainly would suggest using a serial comma. I’d have to read it again in context to decide whether that first comma was appropriate.
8. Simply, submit the form on the right and we will contact you to schedule a meeting right away.
Why is that comma there after “simply”?
9. Our experienced Inbound Marketing consultants will help you define smart marketing goals based on your business objectives and create a road map with you how to achieve them.
Well, there’s a word missing between “you” and “how,” but I think I would suggest rewriting altogether.
10. “We can launch campaigns across a variety of online properties simultaneously with HubSpot – and measure the results in real time,” Valentine says.
Hey, that’s a hyphen, and it should be a dash. There’s a big, big difference.
11. Since partners with HubSpot, they now have increased to 20-30 leads per month from inbound marketing mainly.
Well, I think the writer meant “partnering,” and I hate that bit about “from inbound marketing mainly.” How about “primarily from inbound marketing”?
12. This enables them to offer their clients a truly business changing inbound marketing platform.
“Business-changing.”
13. Because resources were limited and a marketing budget virtually non-existent, the team cobbled together a system of about ~20 disparate tools to manage our social media, SEO reports, email marketing and blogging, e.g., HootSuite, MailChimp, Google Analytics, Raven Tools and many more.
No hyphen in nonexistent and why is that tilde symbol there after “about”? Also, if you’re going to use “e.g.,” you need to conclude your list with an item and not a phrase like “and so on” or “an many more.” You’ve already told your reader that this is just a sample by using the “e.g.” in the first place.
14. The company had created a variety of issues that were holding them back from success.
It—the company is an it.
15. This did not only impact the agency’s service offering and packaging but also how they were priced.
“This not only impacted” is a hell of a lot better.
16. “I live in my HubSpot portal. The mobile app allows me to keep a close eye on my client’s and our growth 24/7.
If you have only one client, I wouldn’t admit to it, and I’d put a comma before 24/7: The mobile app allows me to keep a close eye on my clients’ growth, 24/7. Plus, we’re missing that second quotation mark!
17. The company decided to fully leverage this opportunity to completely re-invent themselves.
Brother! The company is an it: it completely reinvented itself. No hyphen with re-invent. Plus, “fully leverage” is trendy and trite. Yuck!
18. Now, the team is crafting 2-3 strategically planned, buyer persona specific blog posts a week while building and engaging with their social media channels on a daily basis.
Ugh! “The team” is singular, so write “its social media.” “Buyer persona-specific” blog posts. Unless you’re brewing beer, I’d stay away from “crafting” as a verb, especially when you’re crafting such crappy sentences.
19. Within the last 12 months, she has created more than 25 conversion paths and various premium content offers, such as “The Complete Beginner’s Guide to Inbound Marketing” and “The Social Media Scheduling Cheat Sheet”.
Commas and periods always go inside quotation marks. There are no exceptions in American English. No exceptions.
20. Each marketing campaign included landing pages, thank you pages, call to actions, follow-up emails, promotion emails, blog posts, and social media messages.
The plural of call-to-action is calls-to-action. It’s like attorney-general and mother-in-law, which are called compound nouns.
21. These leads will then be enrolled in targeted email marketing campaigns slowly and carefully building trust by providing helpful guidance in order to move them deeper into the sales funnel.
Need a comma after “carefully.”
22. But the send and pray approach was highly ineffective, because her prospects were not yet qualified enough for budget, need, authority and timeline or educated enough about what she was proposing to see the value of her work.
Send-and-pray approach; plus I’d have to ask a couple of questions about what is being said here to know where the commas should go. Ugh.
23. The company was not only able to sign up their first three monthly inbound marketing retainers, but also received numerous website projects and short-term marketing campaigns as well.
“Company” is an IT: its first three retainers.
24. The plan for 2015 is to triple the agency’s monthly reoccurring revenue and move to 90% retainer based work by the end of the year.
“Retainer-based.”
And these last sentences are from other sources.
1. What the GOP Is Calling for When They Advocate Defunding Planned Parenthood
When IT Advocates.… “The GOP” is singular and it’s an IT.
2. In the drop-down menu next to “Apply to”, make sure to click on “Whole Document” to apply this size to the whole document.
Periods and commas are always placed INSIDE quotation marks in American English.
Major OUCH! This is from a “Senior Writer” job post at a university-affiliated, international nonprofit: Performs other related duties as equired.
I hate it when people say they want someone with “superb” editing skills, but their “want ad” has major typos and mistakes.

Fall into Good Writing Habits, 2015. Test #1.

Special Editing Test! These sentences are all from speakers who (say they) charge $10,000 or more per speech.

Yeah, right.

1) His radio show, “Engage with Andy Busch” brings top minds together for lively discussions on economics, politics and culture including Congressman Peter Roskam, CFTC Commissioner Christopher Giancarlo, and JPM’s chief economist Jim Glassman.

2) His innovative, thought-provoking commentary will resonate with your audience and help them understand the forces impacting their world.

3) As seen on CNBC, FOXBusiness, and BNN, he is a trusted expert for millions of viewers and his views are highly sought after both in the press and by politicians.

4) Before going into analysis, he was the top currency trader for Northern Trust and Harris Bank in Chicago.

5) His Keynote speeches, group trainings and executive coaching is world famous and executives from companies like Johnson & Johnson Innovation, Second Genome, Volkswagen, IBM and Care Fusion recommend John as one of the best speakers, coach, and communications and leadership trainers working today.

6) You will learn how to Speak like a Leader and make all of your communications “TED-Worthy” and get more of what you want more of the time in this Internationally Acclaimed, highly entertaining presentation.

7) Everyone from novices & beginners to top notch Keynote Speakers rave about what they get out of The World-Famous: Speak Like a Leader; How to Create ‘TED-Worthy’ Pitches, Presentations and Communications.

8) He gives you principles which allow you to achieve ever increasing success and the ability to play and be ever more creative in the serious areas of communication and leadership.

9) He also works with C level executives at top companies to make their communications “TED-Worthy,” as well.

10) He is a contributing author to “World Class Speaking in Action” an Amazon best seller.

11) In 1997 he co-founded NOBIGWORDS.com which quickly became a dot com darling.

12) As a NFL Super Bowl Champion, he knows first hand about the hard-work and focus required to deliver consistent excellence.

13) This inspiring, high-energy presentation will give your audience the tools necessary to look inside and find what it takes to be their best.

14) If you answer “yes” to one of the following four questions, this post is for you: Want to make more money? Want to loose weight? Want to improve your organizational culture? Want to become a better leader or teammate?

15) Your team even had the right to fine you everyday you were overweight.

16) I was an official “fat dude”.

17) I tried a few times to battle back and loose the extra 50+ pounds of neglect.

18) Guys like Mike Gruttadauria and Grant Wistrom loss major weight and looked amazing.

19) But its going to require your focus, dedication and commitment to consistency.

20) While it would ideal if you had a trainer, gym, worked out with HIIT workouts (look it up) and/or lifted weights at night, you can do this without a gym membership, trainer of special equipment.

21) But the truth is, besides good fuel and maintenance; even the most high-performing vehicles need a rest sometimes.

22) There are plenty of workouts on YouTube you can do in the comforts of your home.

23) To download to your own computer to view, simply right-click the desired link and select “save as”, and then open with your favorite PDF viewer.

24) The standard fee for Richard & Andrea’s 45-90 minute Go for No!® keynote is $15,000 less their Great Client Discount of $2,500. Rest assured, they will NOT by ‘PITCHING THEIR PRODUCTS’ from the stage at your event! If we may be so bold, the old axiom “You get what you pay for” is true… and it’s DOUBLE TRUE when it comes to hiring a speaker for your conference.

25) Grow revenue, increase profits and have better balance in your life * Focus on your top priorities rather than responding to others crises * Build/retain a high performing team with complimentary skills * Celebrate success and rediscover your passion
Bonus sentence!
From a book publisher’s website:
David’s Fine Arts background is a great compliment to his design experience, creating a graphic artist with a diverse technical skill set and critical eye.