What an online profile should NOT look like.

I get the fact that lots of people have content thrust upon them from their Mother Ship. Yup, I get it. However, just because content has been thrust upon you doesn’t relieve you of the responsibility of looking it over, popping it into spellcheck, and making corrections, even if you have to ask the home office for permission prior to doing anything.

In this case, I attended a very well-run meeting this morning and, when I got back to the office, I looked up the facilitator’s bio information. What you are seeing is not the information on this person’s “official” work website; rather, it’s on a networking site. Considering how many people have to post biographical and professional information on various sites, I thought it would be a helpful exercise to look at the original writing first, followed by a line edit, and then a rewrite. The misspelling of Martin Luther King Jr.’s name was especially unfortunate, I felt.

It took me longer to “disguise” the person and the company than it did to actually do the edit.

You need to really work on these online bios, everyone. Write, edit, rewrite. You never know who will look at your information!

Original: My Business

I am an Agent licensed to sell insurance through RAF Insurance Company, and may be licensed with various other independent unaffiliated insurance companies in the state of ABC and XYZ. No insurance business may be conducted outside the state referenced. Additionally, I am a Registered Representative of and offer securities products & services through RAF Securities LLC, (Member FINRA/SIPC), A Licensed Insurance Agency. 309 Dr. Martin Luether King Jr. Blvd. Ste 320, EXY, FY, 12345. In this regard, this communication is strictly intended for individuals residing in the states of ABC. No offers may be made or accepted from any resident outside the specific state(s) referenced. Neither RAF Insurance Company, nor its agents, provides tax, legal, or accounting advice. Please consult your own tax, legal, or accounting professional before making any decisions.

Line edit: My Business

I am an Agent licensed to sell insurance through RAF Insurance Company, and may be licensed with various other independent unaffiliated [Rule: “independent” and “unaffiliated” are coordinate adjectives, and, as such, need a comma between them.] insurance companies in the state [Needs to be plural: “states.”] of ABC and XYZ. No insurance business may be conducted outside the state [Two states means that this should be plural: states.] referenced. Additionally, I am a Registered Representative of and offer securities products & [I am not a fan of an ampersand unless it is part of the legal name of a business. It has no business here.] services through RAF Securities LLC, (Member FINRA/SIPC), A Licensed Insurance Agency. [Need a comma, not a period, here.] 309 Dr. Martin Luether [“Luther”] King Jr. Blvd. [Add a comma after “Blvd.”] Ste [This is an abbreviation, and so needs a period. But, since space is not an issue, I’m going to spell it out.] 320, EXY, FY, 12345. In this regard, this communication is strictly intended for individuals residing in the states [Need to say “state,” not “states, or rewrite to include XYZ.] of ABC. No offers may be made or accepted from any resident outside the specific state(s) referenced. Neither RAF Insurance Company, [No comma here.] nor its agents, [No comma.] provides [Because of the “nor,” you need to say “provide,” because in an either/or, neither/nor situation, the verb agrees with the noun closest to it.] tax, legal, or accounting advice. Please consult your own tax, legal, or accounting professional before making any decisions.

 Corrected: My Business

I am an Agent licensed to sell insurance through RAF Insurance Company, and may be licensed with various other independent, unaffiliated insurance companies in the states of ABC and XYZ. No insurance business may be conducted outside the states referenced. Additionally, I am a Registered Representative of and offer securities products and services through RAF Securities LLC, (Member FINRA/SIPC), a Licensed Insurance Agency, 309 Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., Suite 320, EXY, FY, 12345. In this regard, this communication is strictly intended for individuals residing in the states of ABC and XYZ. No offers may be made or accepted from any resident outside the specific states referenced. Neither RAF Insurance Company nor its agents provide tax, legal, or accounting advice. Please consult your own tax, legal, or accounting professional before making any decisions.

 

Note: I let this sit for a week, and came back and tweaked it up a bit. It’s the nature of the beast. Keep polishing and refining; there will come a moment when you know you’ve done all you can.

 

 

 

August 24: 23-Question Quiz with Horrible Sentences from a PUBLISHER’S Website

From time to time I look around publishers’ websites, just to see what standards the company sets. I feel that a publisher’s content should be flawless, period.  Now, it’s true that some publishers will use a serial comma and others won’t—just as long as there is consistency in style, I won’t quibble. There might be a few other style-related issues that I won’t necessarily consider mistakes, and, again, if that’s true and if the publisher is consistent, it’s not that big of a deal.

This publisher, though, had embarrassingly sloppy, poorly edited content. I was surprised and not a little dismayed at seeing such low standards. If the publisher isn’t careful, what must the books it publishes look like? The mind boggles.

Bottom line: You can understand a publisher’s work ethic from its online content. Sloppy content = sloppy editing = a piss-poor book. It’s up to authors to make judgements, based on what they see. With this publisher, I’d flee!

  1. If you have a book that you think fits with our theme of ABC authors, ABC books and ABC stories; call or email to begin a conversation. [This nasty sentence appeared twice!]
  2. At XYZ we believe in a collaborative process whether we are publishing tweets, blogs or books.
  3. XYZ publishes: a few books each year, several websites and social media posts for authors, business owners and others.
  4. She came to XYZ and after editing, editing we have designed the cover and interior text pages.
  5. With a BA in Journalism, a talent for design and a lifelong career in journalism, marketing and public relations, MNO is able to provide a quality product in content and design and a full array of marketing to help books be in the hands of readers.
  6. XYZ is an offshoot of XYZ Communications operating from 1990 to 2005 as a marketing/desktop publishing/business consulting services company in the STU area.
  7. People here and from away love ABC. We love ABC for its people, beaches, rocky shores, lighthouses, mountains, trails, wild edibles and , did I say, its people.
  8. An active community member she co­chaired the rehabilitation effort of the RST and guided the planning and creation of two riverside parks at each end.
  9. Many people have purchased Wild DEF of Maine: A Useful Guide by Timmy Smith.
  10. Poison ivy, virgin’s bower (wild clematis, a vining plant of edges and woodland trails), often mistakenly called “poison oak” and several other plants can cause mild to severe reactions in people.
  11. The first name is the genus, or general family and the second name tells something specific about the plant.
  12. Along with two others she founded and serves as a member of the board of Save Our RST.Org to ensure the maintenance of the historic RST designed and built bridge connecting the two towns.
  13. Visit Berlin, XYZ and travel in time through the years!
  14. From school–s, to factories, to founding families, to all the minutiae that create a town—Frontier to Industrial City provides a clear picture of the many facets of Thomaston during its transformation.
  15. Immerse yourself in the 17th Century South with either of these deftly written books.
  16. Through perseverance, back-breaking work, bravery and sometimes luck­—the family beat the odds and held onto the their land for centuries.
  17. Read about and see ABC people at their finest—everyday hard at work, ready to lend a hand and creating a better world—right here at home in ABC.
  18. This trilogy AT, BC and RR, chronicles many of the same quirky characters and much of the landmarks in this mystery set in post Vietnam War rural ABC.
  19. Enjoy these tales as they takes you around the world and back to ABC with nonstop action revealed through Shoot’s prose—that like, her poetry, is, “careful language, precise, with a sparse beauty.”
  20. You can either pay by credit card, Visa, Mastercard, Discover or Amex, or you can setup a Paypal account at your time of purchase.
  21. No credit information will ever be sent to us directly to help insure your privacy.
  22. PayPal uses the best commercially available technology and procedures to protect the security of your online transactions. Review their Data Security and Encryption if you have further questions.
  23. At XYZ, we publish through twitter, blogs, websites, books and more.

August 19 Quiz with ANSWERS!

  1. Should you wish to learn more about us and our services, feel free to contact us or sent us a message.

“Sent” us a message?

  1. Setup your website fast and easy and without any coding, we provide you with easy options panel to make whit task simple.

“Setup” is a noun: The setup looked great. The verb “set up” is two words. This is a good example of a comma splice: two complete sentences joined with just a comma. It’s a no-no.  Plus, you’ve got the word “easy” twice in one sentence. That’s a no-no for sure! Plus, missing article alert! “With an ‘easy options’ panel” is how I’d characterize that concept; you’ve got to have that article “an.” Plus…“whit”? Here’s what I’d write:

Set up your website fast and without any coding; we provide you with an “easy options” panel to make updating simple.

  1. We don’t just create systems that provides you functionalities and results, we make sure that they are easy to implement, intuitive and modern in terms of interface design and details.

It’s either “systems that provide” or “a system that provides,” but it cannot be “systems that provides.” This is why God invented spellcheck.

  1. We have talented graphic designers that provides our systems with good UX/UI designs that is in accordance and exceed current design trends.

Same problem. You either have “designers that provide” or “a team of graphic designers that provide.” Plus, I’d use “who provide/s” instead of “that provide/s.”

  1. Our skilled designers do not merely design them according to the trend but make sure also that it stands out from the rest making each EXYS’s services one of a kind and unique.

Wow. You’ve got two ambiguous pronouns—them and it—and then there’s that incorrect “each EXYS’s services,” which should be written “each of EXYS’s services.” Plus, isn’t “one-of-a-kind” absolutely the same as “unique”? Why have both?

  1. EXYS has maintained an excellent reputation in the consultancy and online marketing field by providing beneficial and effective marketing services in the marketplace and providing their customers and clients with superb results.

“EXYS” is a company, is a singular noun, and so can’t be represented by a plural pronoun (“their” customers).

  1. If you seeking an online marketing company in the Sarasota/Bradenton area, EXYS strives hard to maintain its rank on being one of the best provider of system and solutions on common consultancy and marketing issues.

If you are seeking….Plus, I hate “strives” in a business context, but “strives hard” is silly, since to strive means to work hard. Plus, you’ve got “maintain its rank on,” and that should read “maintain its rank as one of the…” And, you’ve got to have “providers,” since you’ve said “one of the best.”

  1. Choose from the wide-range of services that we provide.

Why the hyphen?

  1. Proper search engine optimization helps you to put your website on top of web searches making it easier for viewers to check your which in turn makes product exposure.

You need a comma after “searches.” Plus, there’s a missing word after “your.” When the missing word is found, you’ll need a comma after it.

  1. Email marketing is still one of the top marketing strategy today you easily communicate to your clients new information and news about your product and services.

“One of the” means you’re going to follow with a plural noun. Here, we need “strategies.” Plus, “products” is better than “product.” Plus, this is a run-on sentence of sorts. You need to write something like this:

Email marketing is still one of the top marketing strategies today, allowing you to easily communicate new information and news to your clients about your products and services.

  1. Earn more online through pay-per-click method, we help you distribute your links properly on different platforms online get results fast and easy.

I don’t know what to say about this sentence. It’s a mess. Let’s see:

Earn more online through pay-per-click! We help you distribute your links properly on different platforms, so you get results fast.

  1. Our websites and systems were designed to provide visitors with information and features they need fast and easy we always make sure all areas are used.

I don’t know what to say about this sentence either. I don’t know what “areas” means, so I guess I’ll just leave it in. Let’s see:

Our websites are designed to provide visitors with the information and features they need fast; we always make sure all areas are used.

  1. We are composed of 3 individuals all contributing to come up with something unique and better ways to strong marketing solutions both online and offline.

Generally, write out numbers from zero to ten, and then use numerals from 11 up. I don’t think this sentence has any value, so I’d suggest that it be removed altogether.

  1. Subscribe to our newsletter and we’ll keep you poster about new projects.

Keep you “poster”? Also, this is a run-on sentence. I’d go with a semicolon after “newsletter.”

  1. We have been using XXYZ’s services since 2008. We have found the team to be very professional in their dealings, extremely easy to work with, and absolute experts in developing consultative strategies.

“Team” is a collective noun. It is singular. So, you can’t use the plural pronoun “their”; it’s got to be “its.”

  1. With offices in Wilmington, DE and Kansas City, MO, our clients include banks and diverse financial services institutions across the spectrum.

Need that comma after DE.

  1. The corner stones on which we have built XYZ can be found here.

“Cornerstones” is one word.

  1. Calling someone a mensch is a high complement.

Yeah, well, it’s important to spell “compliment” correctly! Plus, can you really have a “high” compliment? Maybe a “huge” compliment, but “high” is iffy.

  1. The couple had “planned to take a road trip and quietly return them, and not make a thing of it”, she said, but never did.

Geez, quotation marks are always placed OUTSIDE periods and commas.

  1. George W. Bush was a highly-scripted candidate who memorized stock answers to most questions.

Never hyphenate an –ly adverb. I think I like a comma after “candidate” as well.

  1. The labels don’t always promise what they’re saying ― i.e. “product of Italy” does not guarantee that olive oil is made in Italy with Italian olives ― but it can also be cut with cheaper olive oils or other oils entirely, like soybean or even peanut oil.

This is a mess. Let me take a stab at it.

Not only do are the labels oftentimes misleading―e.g., “Product of Italy” does not guarantee that the olive oil is made in Italy with Italian olives―but the oil itself can be cut with cheaper olive oils or other oils entirely, like soybean or even peanut oil.

Remember that when you use dashes, you must be able to remove all the material inside the dashes and have a sentence that still makes sense. Plus, don’t forget: “i.e.” means “in other words,” and “e.g.” means “for example,” which I thought was better here. Plus, don’t forget the comma after each use of “i.e.” and “e.g.”

 

August 19, 2016 EditNATION.com QUIZ!

This material is mostly from one site, but there is a good variety today. Have fun!

  1.  Should you wish to learn more about us and our services, feel free to contact us or sent us a message.
  2.  Setup your website fast and easy and without any coding, we provide you with easy options panel to make whit task simple.
  3.  We don’t just create systems that provides you functionalities and results, we make sure that they are easy to implement, intuitive and modern in terms of interface design and details.
  4.  We have talented graphic designers that provides our systems with good UX/UI designs that is in accordance and exceed current design trends.
  5.  Our skilled designers do not merely design them according to the trend but make sure also that it stands out from the rest making each EXYS’s services one of a kind and unique.
  6.  EXYS has maintained an excellent reputation in the consultancy and online marketing field by providing beneficial and effective marketing services in the marketplace and providing their customers and clients with superb results.
  7.  If you seeking an online marketing company in the Sarasota/Bradenton area, EXYS strives hard to maintain its rank on being one of the best provider of system and solutions on common consultancy and marketing issues.
  8.  Choose from the wide-range of services that we provide.
  9.  Proper search engine optimization helps you to put your website on top of web searches making it easier for viewers to check your which in turn makes product exposure.
  10.  Email marketing is still one of the top marketing strategy today you easily communicate to your clients new information and news about your product and services.
  11. Earn more online through pay-per-click method, we help you distribute your links properly on different platforms online get results fast and easy.
  12. Our websites and systems were designed to provide visitors with information and features they need fast and easy we always make sure all areas are used.
  13. We are composed of 3 individuals all contributing to come up with something unique and better ways to strong marketing solutions both online and offline.
  14. Subscribe to our newsletter and we’ll keep you poster about new projects.
  15. We have been using XXYZ’s services since 2008. We have found the team to be very professional in their dealings, extremely easy to work with, and absolute experts in developing consultative strategies.
  16. With offices in Wilmington, DE and Kansas City, MO, our clients include banks and diverse financial services institutions across the spectrum.
  17. The corner stones on which we have built XYZ can be found here.
  18. Calling someone a mensch is a high complement.
  19. The couple had “planned to take a road trip and quietly return them, and not make a thing of it”, she said, but never did.
  20. George W. Bush was a highly-scripted candidate who memorized stock answers to most questions.
  21. The labels don’t always promise what they’re saying ― i.e. “product of Italy” does not guarantee that olive oil is made in Italy with Italian olives ― but it can also be cut with cheaper olive oils or other oils entirely, like soybean or even peanut oil.

August 15 EditNATION.com QUIZ with ANSWERS!

1.    I enjoyed the class last night and I am looking forward to tonights’ class.
Ooh, a little run-on sentence. You need a comma after “night.” Plus, there’s the matter of the misspelling of “tonight’s.”
2.    For a discussion about “girl friend”: one word or two, and even Spellcheck seems to think it should be one; I’d already come to that conclusion. One word.
I hate this sentence. I think it is confusing, incorrect, and needs a rewrite in the worst way, but my real problem is the capitalization of “spellcheck,” which, last time I looked, is not a proper noun.
3.    Though he does not flaunt the names of his clientele, their caliber is evident when he describes that a Canadian customer just purchased a $120,000 mahogany and alligator desk, then picked out a few leather jackets for himself to the tune of $90,000, not to mention the bags and shoes he bought for his girl friend.
Well, we’ve already decided that “girlfriend” is one word, but it’s “clientele” that’s bothering me because “clientele” is a collective noun, and, as such, is singular, which makes the “their” incorrect: it should read “its caliber.” Plus, “describes” is not the best choice here; either say “he says” or “he tells the story of a,” but I would have rewritten the sentence starting with “describes how a Canadian customer recently purchased…” You could also say “describes a Canadian customer who recently purchased…”
4.    “The bag must be beautiful inside and out,” he explains, “It makes a woman feel special- -after all, her life is in this bag!”
Don’t like those two hyphens after “special”—don’t be lazy. When you need a dash, use a dash! The real problem is in the punctuation surrounding the “he explains.” You either end the sentence right after “explains,” or, if you keep going, you lowercase the “It.”
5.    “I will cater to lifestyle,” he explains, it will be a “homey” store.”
Oooh, and this writer is supposed to be a “professional.” I’d stick a period after “explains,” start with double quotes before “it,” uppercase “it” since you’re starting a new sentence, and then you can only use single quotes around “homey,” since, in this case, it’s an expression. Very sloppy.
6.    “My factories try to do me favors to cut corners and save money and I tell them, ‘don’t do me favors. The result or doing things right is impressive.'”
Ugh. Comma after “money.” Capitalize “don’t.” You need single quotes around what he says he says, which is “don’t do me favors”—not the rest of it. Plus, she’s got two types of quotation marks here, which, to me, means she (the writer is a she) went back in and made changes, and, given how bad this sentence is, means that she doesn’t know her ass from her elbow about quotation marks. And then there’s the misspelling: “or” for “of.” For a “professional” writer, this is  inexcusable.
7.    And he does bring them here, just like he brings in Mexicans to lay the Mexican tile that will adorn his new store front.
“Storefront” is one word.
8.    This webinar will walk through many of the social media aspects of our organization such as: establishing connections, groups, and testimonials.
Never put a colon after an expression like “such as.” It’s basic.
9.    By clicking this button, you submit your information to the webinar organizer, who will use it to communicate with you regarding this event and their other services.
Who, pray, is “their”? The “webinar organizer” is singular. So the possessive pronoun should be “his or her.”
10.    Thank you for registering for “Step 4: Member Tools & Reports”.
Ye gods, quotation marks are ALWAYS placed OUTSIDE periods and commas in American English.
11.    To review the organizer’s privacy policy or stop receiving their communications, please contact the organizer directly.
Here we have the writer recognizing that “the organizer” is in fact singular (organizer’s), but there’s still that mistake about using a plural pronoun.
12.    The parents of a badly-abused infant agreed on Wednesday to remove her from life support, a decision that could mean the charges against the baby’s father escalate to murder.
Never hyphenate an –ly adverb. (The baby’s father did get charged with murder.)
13.    If you could get your hands on a proven 3-step selling system for transforming your business into a profit machine in less than 90-days, would you take it?
“Proven” and “3-step” are coordinate adjectives, and so you need a comma between them. The 2-step rule about coordinate adjectives is simple: 1) can you place “and” between them and have a phrase that makes sense, and 2) can you reverse the order of the adjectives and have the phrase make sense. Okay. Let’s see.
“Proven” and “3-step” makes sense.
“3-step” and “proven” makes sense.
Plus, what’s that hyphen doing in between “90” and “days”? The phrase is not modifying a noun, like “a 90-day trial.” And, don’t forget: the compound adjective must precede the noun for the hyphen rule to kick in. If you wrote “the trial was for 90 days,” you wouldn’t need a hyphen because the compound adjective follows the noun it is modifying. Here you just have the phrase “90 days,” and there’s no hyphen required, necessary, needed, wanted, or nothin’.
14.    If you are independently wealthy already and cannot benefit from my two decades of proven, experience-based sales and marketing advice, click the link below to unsubscribe from any future Emails.
Ugh. This guy is such an arrogant jerk! Never bold anything; instead, use italics for emphasis. Plus, lowercase “emails.”

15.    Whether its information on our services, the value we have delivered, testing resources, genuine testing thought leadership or learning’s that you are looking for, we try to deliver all of that to you in one section.

“It’s” is what you want here. And WTF (as the kids say) is a “learning’s”?? Plus, I HATE the expression “thought leadership,” especially when it is accompanied by lousy writing, as it so invariably is. Yuck!
16.    Our QA roadmap paper built on our diverse experiences across customer environment’s, goes onto outline the ideal software testing roadmap any quality assurance team should embark on to ensure minimum risk of critical failure in the applications they plan on implementing, are implementing or have implemented.
I find the phrase “roadmap paper built” difficult to decipher. (Maybe because “road map” is two words, not one.) And, again, the plural in this case is not created by an apostrophe plus “s.” “Team” is a collective noun, and so “they” as a pronoun is incorrect. Plus, I’d stick a comma after “are implementing.”
17.    Formulated based on the experience of executing multiple projects for Fortune 1000 companies, “A scientific approach to testing size estimation” is a one of a kind paper that will help you estimate accurately.
You need hyphens in the expression “one-of-a-kind.”
18.    We assisted a leading banking product company based out of Africa to manually test their core banking application.
“Company” is a collective noun, and so needs a singular pronoun: “to manually test its core banking application.”
19.    BA’s play a critical role in ensuring the end quality of a product.
No apostrophe plus “s” in an acronym without periods; just lowercase the “s”: BAs.
20.    A user friendly interface provided as a part of this solution enables testing teams to use advantages of two commonly used approaches; i.e., Functional decomposition approach and Keyword driven approach.
“User-friendly” needs a hyphen. That “i.e.” is incorrect; what you need there is a colon after “approaches.” It’s the good old “namely” rule of colons: “…advantages of two commonly used approaches (namely) the functional decomposition approach and the keyword-driven approach.” (What those are, I have no idea.) Another clue that the semicolon is incorrect is that there are not two complete sentences on either side of the semicolon, which, generally, is the tip off in a situation like this.

August 2, 2016 EditNATION.com QUIZ with Answers!

1. Do not discard, this notice is not an invoice it is a courtesy reminder to register your domain name search engine listing so your customers can locate you on the web.
This is a sentence from one of those scammers that try to scare you into renewing your domain name at outrageous fees. Generally speaking, scammers don’t know beans about good writing. You know what I mean: the African ladies who really, really believe in God (and know that you do, too!) and just need your help extracting the measly $50 million they have in some bank. There are three sentences here, jammed together without the benefit of proper punctuation. Let’s see; this is what I would do:
Do not discard! This notice is not an invoice; it is a courtesy reminder to register your domain name search engine listing so your customers can locate you on the web.
2. Your ideal life – the car, the house, the vacations, the job, the relationships, seem very out of reach.
The problem with this sentence is the mixing of one dash with one comma in the parenthetical phrase. My suggestion would be to use two dashes, like so:
Your ideal life—the car, the house, the vacations, the job, the relationships—seem very out of reach.
Ah, but there’s a big problem. We’re talking about a “life”: one “life.” Well, with the parenthetical information properly separated, it becomes clear that the verb—“seem”—needs to be “seems,” not “seem.”
Your ideal life—the car, the house, the vacations, the job, the relationships—seems very out of reach.
And this guy is supposedly an “international best-selling author.” I guess it’s okay; he gives me some of my best stuff; he’s what I call a real go-to kind of guy!
3. Course guides are pocket sized magazines filled with information about the golf course and it’s facilities.
Ouch. “It’s” is it is or it has. The possessive of “it” is “its.” The #1 mistake. And where’s the hyphen in “pocket-sized”?
4. Every hole on the golf course is featured on it’s own 2-page spread.
And they made it TWICE! On the SAME PAGE!
5. All I know is that his mane and tail PERFECTLY compliment his super shiny coat.
Huge mistake. Huge. “Compliment” with an “i” means to give someone praise. I always remember this by thinking “I” compliment you. “Complement” with an “e” means that one thing “completes” something else: his tail complements his coat, the KitchenAid appliances complement the cabinetry, and so on. Using “compliment” for “complement” is the most common spelling mistake in real estate listings.
6. Throughout the years, his in-depth knowledge and insight into the mortgage industry has allowed his students to more thoroughly understand the concepts and principals outlined in the state broker exams.
I got a good laugh out of this mistake, from someone who claims to have 25 years of experience in the mortgage industry. It’s “principals”: “principals” is spelled wrong. For crying out loud! Here’s how I remember this: the “principal” is your “pal.” The “principal” is the highest-ranking official in a school, so a “principal” means major, the pinnacle, the ne plus ultra. And “principle” is the other use, the use that means guidelines, strictures, rules. Oh, how I’d like a look at this company’s instruction manual, which I hear is a total mess. But there’s a little bit more: this guy (supposedly) has in-depth knowledge and insight, which are two things, which means the verb should be “have,” not “has.”
7. He provides real-life examples and, frequently, humorous observations on many of the complex principals that make up the mortgage industry.
Yeah, well, when you don’t know how to spell something in one place, you generally misspell it in another. Wow. Very “humorous” indeed.
8. In order to insure these standards are met each state agency now participates in the Nationwide Mortgage Licensing System and Registry (NMLS).
Yeah, yeah. It’s “ensure,” not “insure.” If you aren’t writing specifically about insurance, it’s “ensure,” which means to make certain. Plus, I’d stick a comma after “met.”
9. I have already registered on NMLS, I have a Log In ID and password but I can NOT find my Unique Identifier number.
At a minimum, comma after “password” and no caps with “not,” and I would like to ask some questions about some of the capitalization before I’d give all that a pass.
10. Why should I get a license?
A.Every state in the country requires, those persons who arrange loans tied to real estate with another’s money must be licensed to be paid. Also, to be paid a referral fee, finders fee, bird dog fee, etc., you must be licensed otherwise it’s a kickback.
Ick. Let’s see. You need a space after the “A.” No comma after “requires.” I’d want to see “finders” as a singular possessive: “finder’s.” And for sure you need a semicolon after “licensed” and a comma after “otherwise.”
11. If the student does NOT complete the course during the scheduled timeframe as set forth at registration they will NOT receive credit for any time accrued. And the student will have to register for another class at an additional cost.
Quit it with the “NOT” capitalizations! The “if” triggers a comma after “registration.” “Timeframe” is incorrect; it is TWO words.  Plus, you’ve got a little noun-pronoun problem because the “student” (singular) does not agree with the pronoun “they,” which is plural. Plus, the second sentence is actually a fragment; you’d need a semicolon (and drop the “and”) after “accrued,” or you’d need a comma instead of the period after “accrued” to make this correct.
12. ATTENTION: You may NOT take the same Continuing Education (CE) Course in 2 consecutive years. We will NEVER offer the same course 2 years in a row – so our students never have to be concerned will verifying what course they took previous year.
Quit it with the NOT and the NEVER caps! UGH! Why is “course” capitalized? Why is that a hyphen and not a dash? And, excuse me, did you mean “with,” but you wrote “will” instead? Ever proof your work? I guess NOT.
13. Each company’s compliance officer should also include a lesson on your companies specific program as well and add test questions on this to the test provided.
Gee, do you mean “company’s” specific program?

August 15 EditNATION.com QUIZ!

Various sources: some old friends and several new friends!

  1. I enjoyed the class last night and I am looking forward to tonights’ class.
  2. For a discussion about “girl friend”: one word or two, and even Spellcheck seems to think it should be one; I’d already come to that conclusion. One word.
  3. Though he does not flaunt the names of his clientele, their caliber is evident when he describes that a Canadian customer just purchased a $120,000 mahogany and alligator desk, then picked out a few leather jackets for himself to the tune of $90,000, not to mention the bags and shoes he bought for his girl friend.
  4. “The bag must be beautiful inside and out,” he explains, “It makes a woman feel special–after all, her life is in this bag!”
  5. “I will cater to lifestyle,” he explains, it will be a “homey” store.”
  6. “My factories try to do me favors to cut corners and save money and I tell them, ‘don’t do me favors. The result or doing things right is impressive.'”
  7. And he does bring them here, just like he brings in Mexicans to lay the Mexican tile that will adorn his new store front.
  8. This webinar will walk through many of the social media aspects of our organization such as: establishing connections, groups, and testimonials.
  9. By clicking this button, you submit your information to the webinar organizer, who will use it to communicate with you regarding this event and their other services.
  10. Thank you for registering for “Step 4: Member Tools & Reports”.
  11. To review the organizer’s privacy policy or stop receiving their communications, please contact the organizer directly.
  12. The parents of a badly-abused infant agreed on Wednesday to remove her from life support, a decision that could mean the charges against the baby’s father escalate to murder.
  13. If you could get your hands on a proven 3-step selling system for transforming your business into a profit machine in less than 90-days, would you take it?
  14. If you are independently wealthy already and cannot benefit from my two decades of proven, experience-based sales and marketing advice, click the link below to unsubscribe from any future Emails.
  15. Whether its information on our services, the value we have delivered, testing resources, genuine testing thought leadership or learning’s that you are looking for, we try to deliver all of that to you in one section.
  16. Our QA roadmap paper built on our diverse experiences across customer environment’s, goes onto outline the ideal software testing roadmap any quality assurance team should embark on to ensure minimum risk of critical failure in the applications they plan on implementing, are implementing or have implemented.
  17. Formulated based on the experience of executing multiple projects for Fortune 1000 companies, “A scientific approach to testing size estimation” is a one of a kind paper that will help you estimate accurately.
  18. We assisted a leading banking product company based out of the Middle East to manually test their core banking application.
  19. BA’s play a critical role in ensuring the end quality of a product.
  20. A user friendly interface provided as a part of this solution enables testing teams to use advantages of two commonly used approaches; i.e., Functional decomposition approach and Keyword driven approach.

July 16 QUIZ with ANSWERS!

1) All Merriam-Webster products and services are backed by the largest team of professional dictionary editors and writers in America, and one of the largest in the world.
And “one of the largest” in the world…what? For a company that enjoys such a fine reputation, Merriam-Webster’s website is a hot mess.

2) Then you simply add any other pages you want such as a about us, products, testimonials, links or whatever you can dream up.
Oooh, you need a comma after “want” and a comma after “links.” But, wait, there’s more! The “list” portion is incorrect on a number of counts: 1) …such as an “about us” page, and 2) product listings, testimonials, links, or whatever….

3) As someone who is in danger of letting their Gold Card fall to the wayside, I wanted to find out how to make the most of the new points system.
Noun-pronoun problem: “someone” is singular, “their” is plural. And the expression is “fall by the wayside,” not “fall to the wayside.”

4) The Office of Statewide Prosecution said Friday the four defendants committed 10 thefts at popular retailers like Champs, Macy’s and Victoria’s Secret in Charlotte, Collier, Pinellas and Sarasota Counties. (from the AP via the Washington Post)
“Counties” should be lowercase. When you have multiple items like this, sharing what would be a lowercased noun if it wasn’t part of the proper noun, you lowercase that noun; for example, I live at the corner of Pine and Oak streets. Or, I attended Harvard and Emory universities.

And, yes, I know this is “newspaper style,” but I really do like that comma between the penultimate and final item in these two lists. That last comma is called a “serial” comma, and I’m a fan.

5) It really works to brighten her complexion and make her standout amidst a sea of neutral-colored dresses.
“Standout” is one word as a noun, but two words as a verb. I would have said “in a sea” to keep things simpler.

6) The frames for his handbags were crafted per order in Paris, France.
Paris, like London, Berlin, San Francisco, Chicago, Baltimore, etc., does not need the qualifier unless you are talking about “Paris, Maine.”

7) You can only imagine my excitement when I was lucky enough to discover a couple of articles from the 1960s where he was mentioned as “the best-kept secret”.
Quotations marks are always placed OUTSIDE periods and commas in American English.

8) Such a categorical statement coming from one of the most popular American fashion blogs is quite surprising, especially considering how often Purseblog features these celebrated American brands, and how many positive comments are usually being posted by their readers to reflect their relevance.
The problem here are the two “theirs” that come towards the end of the sentence. They present a challenge because they refer to different things: the first “their” refers to “Purseblog,” and the second refers to “comments.” Or maybe “features”—I can’t decide. If it’s “features,” I wouldn’t have used that comma after “brands.” See? Punctuation is supposed to make things easy to understand for your readers, and that’s not what happens here. Well, at any rate, if the first “their” refers to a company, it’s wrong, because companies are always singular and always an “it.”

9) Friedman’s Shoes was the place where a man seven-feet tall with a size 22 foot could buy shoes the way everyone else does — right off the shelf.
No hyphen in the height: the man was seven feet tall, but, the seven-foot-tall man. Here’s the rule: Put hyphens in a compound adjective that precedes the noun being modified, but no hyphens if the compound adjective follows the modified noun.

I also wouldn’t have used a dash there. I would have used a colon, remembering the “namely” rule for colon use. A dash completely separates the material that follows the dash from the rest of the sentence, so this dash is not correct because “right off the shelf” is necessary to understand the meaning of the sentence.

10) In 1998, the NBA lockout, hit many of their best customers in the pocket.
Never let a comma come between the subject and its verb, so that comma after “lockout” is incorrect. If you were using a descriptive phrase containing parenthetical information (which would have a pair of commas if in the middle of a sentence), that would be another matter.

Also, since “their” refers back to “Friedman’s Shoes,” that’s incorrect, since a company is singular and an “it”: In 1998, the NBA lockout hit many of its best customers in the pocket.

11) Our team of experts are available to speak to your organization at no cost.
Ouch. “Team” is a singular noun, and so this sentence should read “Our team of experts is available.…”

12) In fact, I happen to be on vacation right now! I’m spending some time up in Monterey, California with my family.
Here’s a place where you do need that qualifier (“California”) and, when you do use the name of a state, you’ve got to put a comma after it.

13) So if you’re still making the huge mistake of thinking that you’ll “never” be able to create the financial situation you really want…
Please. Why the quotes around “never”? Here’s the test: imagine you’re speaking to someone; during the course of the conversation, would you make an “air quotes” gesture when you were saying “never”? In this case, no.

14) Toastmasters International, “Where Leaders Are Made” is the world’s largest non-profit educational organization dedicated entirely to improving leadership and communication skills.
“Where Leaders Are Made” is parenthetical information, and so should be enclosed by commas. The trick to deciding whether or not your punctuation is correct is to see if you can remove the entire phrase nestled between those commas and still have a sentence that makes sense. In this case, you’ve got to have a second comma there, and it’s got to be in between “made” and the quotation mark. Those capital letters are okay, because that’s the organization’s slogan.

Also, “nonprofit” is one word, no hyphen. It’s “not-for-profit” that needs the hyphens.

August 2 Editing QUIZ!

Just a couple of contributors in this go-round, but they provided plenty of mistakes to talk about!

Have at it!

  1. Do not discard, this notice is not an invoice it is a courtesy reminder to register your domain name search engine listing so your customers can locate you on the web.
  2. Your ideal life – the car, the house, the vacations, the job, the relationships, seem very out of reach.
  3. Course guides are pocket sized magazines filled with information about the golf course and it’s facilities.
  4. Every hole on the golf course is featured on it’s own 2-page spread.
  5. All I know is that his mane and tail PERFECTLY compliment his super shiny coat.
  6. Throughout the years, his in-depth knowledge and insight into the mortgage industry has allowed his students to more thoroughly understand the concepts and principals outlined in the state broker exams.
  7. He provides real-life examples and, frequently, humorous observations on many of the complex principals that make up the mortgage industry.
  8. In order to insure these standards are met each state agency now participates in the Nationwide Mortgage Licensing System and Registry (NMLS).
  9. I have already registered on NMLS, I have a Log In ID and password but I can NOT find my Unique Identifier number.
  10. Why should I get a license?
    A.Every state in the country requires, those persons who arrange loans tied to real estate with another’s money must be licensed to be paid. Also, to be paid a referral fee, finders fee, bird dog fee, etc., you must be licensed otherwise it’s a kickback.
  11. If the student does NOT complete the course during the scheduled timeframe as set forth at registration they will NOT receive credit for any time accrued. And the student will have to register for another class at an additional cost.
  12. ATTENTION: You may NOT take the same Continuing Education (CE) Course in 2 consecutive years. We will NEVER offer the same course 2 years in a row – so our students never have to be concerned will verifying what course they took previous year.
  13. Each company’s compliance officer should also include a lesson on your companies specific program as well and add test questions on this to the test provided.