Jaw-dropping.

I was poking around tonight, looking at “web developers” (and I use that term loosely) and their sites. Now, I’m not trying to be a you-know-what, but I quickly put together eight pages in a new “More BAD Sentences” list, and these sentences will appear in quizzes sometime in the future. One young man was, not to sound like a you-know-what, basically illiterate. One so-called expert had 11 misspelled words on her site! Well, there could be more. I stopped counting at 11 words because…well, I just did.

Let’s look, shall we, at the best of the worst:

This said, it is even more important to have your web site listed on the first page of search engines i.e. Googel, Bing & Yahoo.

When you can’t spell “Google,” what does that say about your websites? Plus, anyone who doesn’t know that “website” is one word should be slapped upside his (or her!) head. Plus, what’s up with the “i.e.” here? Why not just say “…the first page of Google, Bing, and Yahoo”? And that ampersand is just plain WRONG.

We setup  targeted keywords and manage the your google traffic (there was no period)

Notice that a) “setup” should be two words: set up; b) there are two spaces between “setup” and “targeted”; c) what’s up with the “the your”?; and d) “Google” is a proper noun! This young person has “cheeky” in her business’s title. I’d like to say some profane things, but I’m not gonna.

For example, ask yourself how often you browse past page two; and do you ever browse page four….and neither do your potential customers….its like not having a web site.

I’d rather not have a website at all than work with such an untutored person (and pay for the privilege). Let’s see: a) what’s with the semicolon?; b) what’s with the 4-point ellipsis?; c) what’s with the SECOND 4-point ellipsis?; d) why, pray, is its MISSPELLED?; and then there’s e) the website-is-one-word mistake.

Prices can be by the hour or by the project depending on what we are trying to accomplish. Our goal is to make you happy and not to keep you dependant on us to use your site if that is not your desire.

The fact that two forms of “depend” are used in subsequent sentences PALES in comparison by the fact that “dependant” IS MISSPELLED. How does that happen? If someone misspells words on his or her website, what the heck is your website going to look like if you hire that person? Crap. That’s what it will look like. Crap.

This next gal was good for two complete pages in my “More BAD Sentences” hit parade, yet she’s a two-time author. (Of course she is!)

[I took out her name] is considered to be one of the best Consultants in America by many businesses because of her approach when it come to Optimization.

That may be, but she can’t write her way out of a paper sack. Since when is “consultants” a proper noun? Why isn’t the verb “to come” conjugated properly? And why is “optimization” capitalized?

You loose more money Not being on the top pages of a Google, Yahoo, Bing, etc. than it costs to get there.

Do you mean “lose”? And why, pray, is “not” capitalized? What’s that “a” doing in front of “Google”? Is it a mistake (my guess), or is she just trying to sound pretentious? Where’s the comma after “etc.”? (And why is “etc.” in that sentence at all?)

This is, in my opinion, a failure in leadership, plain and simple. When you go to a training (and these web people and I all belong to the same organization) and there are 107 mistakes in the training manual, I mean, Katie bar the door.

If you are shopping for a website developer, do yourself a favor and take a hard look at the company’s website. If you see a typo, make like a tree, ’cause I guarantee you one thing: if the company has sloppy content, yours will be…sloppier.