Plea to an unnamed organization.

So there I was, sitting at the last luncheon of a 5-day conference, minding my own business, when suddenly a manuscript was thrust into my hands by a tablemate…right as the chicken was being served!
Well, I put down my fork and, more to be polite than anything else, I began to read. Five seconds later I said, “Does anyone have a pen?”
Friends, this manuscript was simply littered with mistakes. Mistake after mistake! And—get this—the “editor” this poor woman (an MBA!) had hired was a referral from her chapter president! Oh, no! How could this be?
What made things worse was that this MBA is supposed to go to press…next week!
Friends, I feel your pain! I was once like you! (And then I wrote 11 books about American English punctuation and grammar.)
Don’t let our members eat cold chicken! Invite me to your chapter to present a “speakers writing bootcamp” sometime in 2018-2019!
I’ll set you straight about the fact that audience is a collective noun, and so is treated as a singular noun! I’ll tell you frankly that quotation marks are always placed outside periods and commas in American English! You’ll get the inside scoop about how to write a dynamic online profile and how to compose thrilling program descriptions! Your fear of hyphens will become a thing of the past!
Does your writing affect your credibility? You betcha!
What good is being a silver-tongued speaker if you can’t spell???
For the love of this organization and the credibility of its members, please consider putting me on your schedule!
Sincerely, Liz Coursen